Whats Done Is Done
by amyl0awrence
Summary: Fifteen year old Mitchie was left alone and pregnant by superstar Shane Gray. What happens when they meet almost 9 years later.
1. Chapter 1

**Here goes nothing! It's a Smitchie by the way. **

I had been lying here for hours. The clock ticked on, and time passed buy. In approximately 2 hours and 37 minutes it would be my daughter Nina's eighth birthday. Eight years and nine months, eight years and nine months had gone by since I was just a fifteen year old teenager attending a phenomenal music camp called camp rock. Eight years and nine months had gone by since I was seduced and lost my virginity to teen heart throb Shane Gray, and eight years and seven months had gone past since I had seen Shane Gray, or heard from him for that matter.

Shane dumped me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. I had a rough time after that, my parents kicked me out and called me a whore. Deep down, they knew I wasn't, but they couldn't bring themselves to come to terms with the fact that their teenage girl from church choir was going to be dropping out of high school and called a slut.

I was living in a small, shabby apartment with my baby girl, and loved my life to pieces. I lived entirely for Nina and my best friend Caitlyn Gellar. Caitlyn had stuck by me since the beginning of everything. She moved in for a while, but after Nina turned three she met her now boyfriend Michael. They seemed to be going strong. I envied that. The only boy I ever truly loved left me for a blonde, Hollywood bimbo. I was broken inside, and all I had left was my beautiful baby girl.

~xoxo~

It was now 1 hour and 24 minutes until my daughter's birthday. I was dreading tomorrow. Nina still doesn't know anything about her father. - Wait, I take that back. It seemed she knew everything! She knew he was a Hollywood superstar, a singer, a performer and incredibly handsome. She knew the lyrics to all his songs, and she was extremely talented on the guitar (she got that from Shane), knowing the cords to ALL of the Connect 3 songs. She just didn't know that I knew Shane when I was younger and that he was her father.

About a week ago Nina had begged me to take her to a connect 3 concert, and when searching the ticket prices online she noticed they had a sale on backstage passes. She begged and begged that I would buy some for her birthday, because the concert was on her actual birthday. I didn't want to disappoint her, so obviously I bought them for her, without thinking of the effect it would have on my emotions.

It was only now I realised that I didn't want to go backstage. I couldn't handle it. I hadn't seen Shane or any of the other band in over eight years, and I sure as hell wasn't ready now. Not now, especially with Nina! Would he recognise me? I had dyed my hair, and grown up a lot since I was fifteen, so hopefully I wouldn't be noticed... straight away at least.

My phone rang on the dresser, and before answering I was that the time was 12:01 am.

It was from Caitlyn.

Happy birthday to beautiful Nina! Wish her well for me? You ready for the concert tomorrow? –C

I replied instantly.

I will, but she's asleep now silly. Not nearly ready. What do I say? –M

I'm online now, are you sure you don't want me to buy a ticket and come to? –C

No, it's alright. Nina might wonder why. –M

Because I'm her aunty! –C

Are you sure? –M

Of course! See you at your place around 3. –C

Thanks Caitlyn. Much love Mitchie. Xo

Bye Mitch. –C

It was a huge relief to know Caitlyn would be there for me tomorrow. I was grateful to have the most amazing best friend ever.

**So... it will get better, promise. C:**

**Review? I love reviews. People don't review much, so please do.**

**Write your ideas and everything! I will take them ALL into consideration!**

**I'll update soon if I get enough views and such. **

**-Amy .xo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note – Okay wow, I had some great reviews on this chapter. They made me feel so loved. **

**I decided I would start writing back on here, okay here I go:**

**NileyFanForever – Thanks so much. I followed you on twitter (i'm lovaticlovexo you should follow me back ;) )**

**Lovelivelifehope14 – Thanks, I am trying my best. **

**bOoKcRiTiC345 – I hope you wait until the end, Yeah, I think I am going to continue. I have no idea where it's going, but hopefully it can be long... longer.**

**xCxBubblezx – More is to come. **

**murder-winter-cullen – Here you go. My update. Thanks for thinking it's amazing. You were my first review, so feel loved. ;) **

**Here goes chapter two, hope you guys like just as much... **

I had barely closed my eyes when I heard the high pitched squeals of Nina running down the staircase. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 6:12 Am. I had been awake all night. Are you serious? Not only was today going to be one of the hardest days of my life, but I would have to put up with it sleep deprived.

Nina squeaked my door open slowly as if not to wake me, but she didn't realise her squeals had already done that. The floor boards creaked as she tiptoed over to besides my bed. She noticed that I was awake and said, "Mommy, it's only 6 in the morning why are you awake?"

"I don't know babe, why are you awake?" I laughed. She was wearing her bunny rabbit slippers and a dressing gown I bought five sizes to big so she could grow into it.

"Because it's my birthday silly!"

"I know baby girl, happy birthday!" I suddenly had a huge burst of energy and jumped out of bed and brought Nina into a huge embrace. "I love you Nina alright?"

"You to mommy," and she kissed my check.

Nina was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me. I felt a feeling of warmth and compassion daily, something I'd never had before. I loved her voice, and her hair, her eyes and her complete and utter passion for music. I loved everything about her, and nothing would change that.

In a way, she looked like a mini, girly version of Shane. Certain parts of me tried to ignore it, but it made Nina, Nina and I was thankful for that. I may have lost the love of my life, but Nina would always tell me she loved me, and that was all that mattered.

"Are we going to see Aunty C today?" Nina asked in a very hopeful voice and I was suddenly grateful that I had allowed Caitlyn to buy her own ticket.

"Of course babe, she's coming to see Connect 3 with us tonight!" A huge smile lit across her face and her cheeks flushed a deep red as she asked me her next question...

"What about daddy mom? When am I going to meet daddy? I didn't want to ask but -"

I was shocked. We'd only spoken about her father once before, when she was six. I knew she would have questions, but right now, this very second. I just wasn't prepared. So I cut her question short, without trying to be rude.

"Ninz, I love you. I love you more than you could possibly ever imagine. But daddy... daddy and I don't speak anymore. One day, you'll know more, but babe, today just isn't that day. I'm sorry. I want you to know though, that your dad is an extremely honourable, and loving man, and he loves you dearly."

The last sentence was a struggle to say. I didn't want to disappoint my baby girl, and I couldn't bear to tell her the truth, so I had no choice than to lie.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry mommy."

"Don't be sorry sweets. It's your birthday! It's all about you! Now, presents or breakfast first?" I asked in a chipper voice, trying to lighten the mood. I couldn't bear to see Nina upset.

She took the bait, and was suddenly, once again happy, "PRESENTS! PRESENTS! PRESENTS!"

"Then off we go!" I brought Nina onto my shoulders and ran down the hall into the lounge room.

Our lounge wasn't big, it was quite small. We had two sofas which both seated two, and were in bright floral colours. The whole apartment was lit in bold and bright colours. I tried to make the atmosphere Nina would grow up in as fun and colourful as possible. I think she appreciated it. Her friends all wished they could live here, but I knew they would benefit with their parents more, because although Nina and I had a fun, lovely home, I wasn't earning much money at my current job. Being a single mom took more effort than I would have ever thought. Caitlyn had helped out with payments and loans a lot while she lived here, but because she had moved out with Michael it was harder for Nina and me now.

"Aunty C!" Nina screamed as she spotted Caitlyn sitting next to Michael on our sofa. "What are you doing here?"

"Happy birthday Ninz!" Caitlyn ran and hugged Nina as she jumped off my shoulders. "Well I had to give you our present of course!"

~xoxo~

After Nina had opened her presents from Caitlyn, Michael and I and was in the lounge room playing with Michael, I brought Caitlyn into our kitchen to get some coffee.

"What are you doing here so early Cait?" I sounded more abrupt than I meant to. "Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude! I just mean, it's only 7:30. Why?"

"Because this is the first birthday of Nina's that I haven't been living here for, and I love how excited she gets in the morning. Besides, you've got a lot going on today. You need moral support from the first moment."

She knew me too well. She knew I was scared more than imaginable about the concert tonight. "Thanks Cait, I really do appreciate it."

With that, Caitlyn and I walked back into the lounge room to embrace more of Nina's happiness.

**Okay, that is the end of that chapter. It was harder to write than you would think. I hope to get some great reviews again, and if I completely stuffed the chapter up please tell me. I will improve for you guys! **

**Oh, I've decided to steal Demi Lovato's catch phrase 'stay strong' because it helped me so much, so anyways, love you guys. **

**Stay strong, - Amy .xo **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Okay, it's been a crazy few days or however long it's been, so I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner!**

**I just thought I would point out that I am not only writing fanfictions, but I am also reading them, and I know waiting for the next chapter can be tedious and annoying, so I promise I will try updating sooner!**

**Now, a few reviews from chapter 2 that i'd like to reply to are...**

**To everyone who said they were waiting to see what happens next, I am trying to span the story over as many chapters as possibly so you'll have to wait... keep tuned!**

**bOoLcRiTiC345 – I love your reviews, and yes, I know there was only two, but I love that you want me to continue, and you're feeling emotions about my story. It makes me feel good. :D**

**xCxBubblezx – I am going to try and make this chapter as long as I can, but see, I have a little difficulty with that. So I'll just try my hardest! (Okay, i just finished writing & it's not that long, sorry! )**

**Squirtlee16 – No Shane in this chapter, (Sorry to spoil) BUT DEFINATELY NEXT. Please keep reading though?**

**Brucas224 – More Smitchie! I love you're thinking. Yes, It will be coming.. very.. very soon! And there will also be more about Nina and Caitlyn as well. **

**I also write other fanfictions people! they may not be as good.. I don't think. But check them out yeah? They are Niley. They are not fab, but I am trying to wind one down, so I can start more Smitchie or Jemi!.**

**I really wanted to emphasize how much you're reviews mean to me, but also the amount of traffic I am getting on this story is phenomenal. I love logging onto my Gmail and seeing emails from fanfictions saying someone has made my story a favourite, or alerted my story. I love it, so here's chapter 3. I really hope you guys like it! :D**

There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was unrecognizable. Maybe a mixture of nerves and worry. I was truly scared about this afternoon. I didn't want to have to put myself through this, and I knew I'd made the biggest mistake of my life.

Nina and I walked towards the backseat of Michael's car. Nina's hands gripped tight to her guitar she'd owned since she was one, and I was carrying the giant connect 3 poster Caitlyn had helped Nina make over lunch.

"Mommy, do you really think we'll meet Shane?" Her eyes held emotions of excitement and disappointment. "I really do want to."

"Babe, I know you wanna meet Shane. You will meet Shane. That's why I bought you special tickets so we can watch everything from backstage, and see what goes on."

Her eyes lightened, no longer was she afraid she was not going to meet him, she knew I was right. She knew that today she would meet her idol, but only I knew that today Nina would be meeting her father.

I heard the sound of the car's central locking unlock, and I opened the trunk of the car so we could put our stuff for the show.

"Michael, you didn't have to drive us to the show. We would have been fine."

"Mitchie, it's fine! Imagine if you guys had to park there, it would take you the entire length of the show just to get from the car to the gates!"

"Yeah I guess... Thank you then. Thank you so much."

Caitlyn noticed my face. I must have not been hiding just how worried I was very well. Her eyes watched me for a moment before she asked, "Are you sure about this Mitchie? I could just take Nina if it's easier on you..."

"No Cait! It's fine." I hesitated. "I'll be fine.."

~xoxo~

As the car pulled up in the no parking zone outside the back entrance to the venue the realisation of what was happening hit me. My stomach knotted and my jaw dropped to the ground at the site that was in front of me. When Nina saw what was in front of us she just stood in oar.

"Whoa..." Nina's voice was almost shaking.

The giant billboard above the car was almost as wide as our apartment. On the poster there was three humongous photographs of the boys of connect 3: Shane, Nate and Jason.

I heard Michael come up behind me and pat my shoulder, "You'll be fine Mitch. I promise." His eyes showed me that he was being serious. "And if Shanes a jerk again, well... I'll come and show him whose boss."

I giggled. Michael knew all about Shane being Nina's father. I couldn't expect Caitlyn to keep it a secret from him. Nina was such a big part of Caitlyn's life that it wouldn't be right for her not to share Nina's story with Michael. In a way, Michael was a sort-of father figure for Nina, and I was thankful for that.

"I've got the guitar for Nina, and the sign we made. I have my cell so I'll call you when it's over and you'll pick us up and..." Caitlyn stated as she walked from the car.

Michael interrupted her, "Cait, I know. We went over everything in the car. You'll call, and I'll come. It's fine. Just go..." He paused. "... Go enjoy yourself."

"Okay thanks Michael, I really do appreciate this." As I spoke I looked down at Nina tugging on my leg.

"MOM! We have to go! It might start without us!" Nina almost looked frightened at the thought of us missing the show.

"Okay hun, I'm coming." I spoke as Caitlyn and I were dragged off through the crowds of people towards the backstage entrance.

The last thing I heard before we walked through the doors was Michael yelling, "Enjoy yourselves!"

~xoxo~

"Name please?" The security guard who spoke had a funny accent and looked as if he was a professional wrestler because he was so huge!

"Mitchie and Nina Torres, and this is Caitlyn Gellar."

"Okay, I have you guys down for backstage tickets, could I please have some form of ID and your tickets to confirm your bookings."

I reached down into my purse and found the tickets and ID. Nina was getting impatient.

"Mommy! We have to go! We have to go see Connect 3!"

Caitlyn looked at me as she was handing the security guard her ID, "Take Nina inside, I'll get all of this sorted and I'll meet you there. She's going to burst otherwise!"

I was uncertain, "But what if... What if I run into Shane."

"Mitch, I doubt he'll just be walking around. He'd be killed by all these kids!" She gave me a smile. "The ticket says meet and greets aren't until 5, and it's only 4:45. We've got 15 minutes. Go look around with Nina and I'll meet you in a few."

I looked at Caitlyn, "Alright." I lifted Nina's poster and guitar off the floor, "Come on Ninz, we're going to go look around and meet Aunty C in a little bit okay?"

Nina had already run off by the time I had finished my sentence. She was a lot more enthusiastic about this than I thought. I was gobsmacked.

"Go after her!" Caitlyn yelled as she laughed at the sight of Nina.

"Thanks Cait!" I turned around to say as I was walking off.

**Authors Note – Alright, I know. Three chapters and they STILL haven't met Shane. I have a pretty good feeling that NEXT CHAPTER they will meet.**

**& Yes, I know. This chapter wasn't some of my best work. But still keep reviewing, and check back for my next chapter soon! **

**StayStrong – Amy .xo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, this is amazing! So far my story has had 346 visitors and 728 hits! Its incredible to know that that many people are taking the time to read my story, and more importantly, come back and read multiple chapters! Wow... Thankyou!**

**Okay, reply to reviews: **

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**xCxBubblezx – Don't worry! You won't be waiting much longer. I needed the first few chapters to just put some background stuff about Caitlyn, Mitchie and Nina before I start writing more drama! **

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**^^^ Wow, I used a lot of smiley faces. Thought I would point that out if you hadn't already noticed.**

**Okay, here we go. Enjoy chapter 4!**

Nina was grasping my hand out of pure excitement. After I had caught up to her I had told her not to run off again, and stay close. I wasn't going to risk losing her amongst all the people, and risk having to go to security to go get her, because I was sure, if security knew about a missing girl, they would inform the band, and I would have to go talk to them about my daughter... I guess it would be our daughter?

Around us I noticed there was a Connect 3 album playing, I wasn't sure which one but I recognized the song as _Gotta Find You_. I felt a tear run down my cheek at the painful memories that went on the summer Shane wrote that song. My thoughts were disturbed by Nina's excitement.

"Mommy! Mommy! Listen! Listen!"

The music was stopping and a man's voice played over the sound system, "_Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am pleased to announce that due to such large numbers anyone holding a backstage pass will attend meet and greets within the next 3 minutes. Please start moving there immediently, anyone with a backstage pass. Now."_

"Lets go!" Nina screamed into my ear and she started running towards the door, and I got lost in a panic.

I turned in a circle, but I could not see Caitlyn or Nina. Nina was missing! My girl!

I could feel my stomach dropping, and my chest was pounding. I was walking amlesly around the room shouting for Nina or Caitlyn. Voices around me were asking if I was alright, but I pushed them aside and kept looking for someone I recognized, anyone. Suddenly, I felt lightheaded, and the last thing I remembered before collapsing onto the ground, was the sound of doors opening and girls screaming...

~xoxo~

I opened my eyes cautiously. I was unsure of what had happened, but the familiar voice of Caitlyn re-assured me that everything would be alright.

"Mitchie, Mitchie, it's alright." She smiled and handed me a glass of water, "Honey, it will be fine."

Steadying myself I stood up slowly. I noticed a few people gathered around, but no one had taken much notice since, from what I could tell, Connect 3 had already begun their meet and greets.

I gulped down some water and passed Caitlyn back the cup, "thanks."

I noticed her facial expressions change, and her skin go pale.

"What's wrong?" I was clueless.

She murmered something back, "...Ni..na."

I felt sick, like a title wave had knocked me over. I screamed Nina's name so loudly people turned, but I ignored them. I had lost my daughter, and I wasn't sure what to do.

I felt Caitlyn hold my hand and drag me through the seas of people towards the front of the line. Rude words were yelled at us, but I ignored them. I had to. Caitlyn whispered in my ear as we were approaching the front of the line, "It'll be fine," and like she hoped, her worlds reassured me.

A security guard blocked the gates in between the band and us, and I spotted Nina just in the distance. I screamed her name, but she didn't hear me. I pushed further towards the front, only to be told, "Ma'am, you have to go to the back of the line. There's other people waiting," by a security guard.

Caitlyn piped in, "but-"

She was interrupted by a familiar voice yelling, "NEXT!"

We moved to the side and looked through the gates at Nina. I saw a familiar boy... man now I guess stand up and introduce himself to Nina. Her face was priceless. She was in a complete and utter state of happiness. We could only just make out their conversation.

"Hi sweetie, what's your name?" Shane asked her.

She was in shock, and heavily breathing, "Oh my god! Uh.. Hi, I'm Nina!" Her smile lit up her entire face.

"That's a pretty name." Nina turned suddenly only to find Nate standing next to her.

"Oh my god!" her high pitched squeals almost defend me, let alone the boys standing right next to her.

I felt a tear running down my cheek out of happiness. My baby girl was finally meeting her idol, her life... her father. I hated to admit it, but he looked so comfortable talking and being with her. There were feelings inside of me I hadn't felt since before I told Shane about the pregnancy. I had feelings of bliss, and compassion. Feelings I knew would only last a moment, because I knew soon I would have to face the reality of going to get Nina, and reuniting with Shane for the first time in over eight years. I approached a security guard, and tried to explain our situation again.

"Look Mr!" Caitlyn basically screamed at the guard, "My niece is in there! She is alone, and we need to go see her! Please!"

"Ma'am, if you had of said that before I would have let you through."

"But-"

I could see the guard getting sick of Caitlyn, and he interrupted her, "just go, go see your niece."

I apologized to the security guard quickly, for Caitlyn's attitude, as we walked through the gates

As we moved towards the band I could hear their conversation more clearly, "did you bring something for us to sign, or a camera to take a photo maybe?" Shane asked curiously.

Her face darkened and her smile faded, "uh... no." She looked around, as if to be in a panic. "Mom!" she screeched. "Oh my gosh, MOM! Aunty C?" She was almost in tears. Obviously in Nina's blissful state she had not noticed that Caitlyn and I still weren't with her.

"I'm right here sweetie, don't worry! I have your guitar for them to sign and your camera!" I answered.

Nina ran over to us and grabbed the items and ran back to the boys, who were all in shock.

"M-itchie?" Shane managed to get out.

Nina looked at me, and then at Shane, and then back at me before speaking. "Mommy, how does Shane know you're name?"

He was frozen solid at the word mommy...

**So... I tried to leave it on a dramatic note. Did it work? I hope so... otherwise, oh well.**

**Let me know what you think though! Do you have any suggestions, let me know! Private message if you'd like, it's all good.**

**But reviews, remember I LOVE you guys reviewing my stuff, so review yeah?**

**Love you all! Stay Strong - Amy .xo**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is crazy! I went to sleep last night & woke up and had over 10 reviews! Wow, you guys are amazing. I'll get to replies now.**

**Erra Fawkes13 - Evil genius... I like it. ;) Thankyou!**

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**UndeniablyBritish - Thank you! Yeah, this chapter I am going to really, really, really... (etc) try and increase the amount of words. **

**YugiohObessed - Oh thank you. You reviewed once on every chapter Thanks about your comments on Nina, they make me happy **

**Squirtlee16 - the next chapter is... now. **

**xCxBubblezx - Thanks, yeah, I write as I go so I'm excited to see what Shane does when he realises that Nina is his daughter as well. Keep reading!**

**Just a little piece of information: Throughout this chapter I am really going to try and increase the length of the story. So there might be a lot more indepth about how Mitchie is feeling about the situation, and if the time arrises, I might have to change the point of view (which I hate doing). But I will warn you about the point of view if it changes. Keep reading guys! Thank you so much as well! **

Shane had only managed to say my name before he was frozen solid. His eyes were glued to Nina who was standing in between Cailtyn and I, and the band. I looked at Shane and opened my mouth to try and explain what was going on, but in Nina's insistant state she interrupted me, "Mommy! How does Shane know your name!"

She wanted to know, and I was sure she wasn't going to take no for an answer. I looked behind me in a panic, and noticed the line growing rapidly. Caitlyn gave me a look of sympathy, but I could see in her eyes that she knew I would have to tell Nina. But did I have to tell Nina everything?

"Sweetie, Shane and I used to be friends, back when we were kids."

Shanes eyes focused on mine, and for the first time in minutes he spoke, "she's..." he hesitated, "...mine?"

Nina's eyes glowed, "who Shane? Who's yours?" She was so wrapped up talking to her famous rock star idol that she didn't notice the tears trickling down my face.

I noticed Nate squeamish in the corner, obviously this wasn't the ideal situation for anyone. Nina had now adjusted her eyes on mine, and her expression of happiness was fading. This wasn't how her birthday was meant to be, this is not right. "Please, could you sign this. It's her birthday and we should really go and take our seats or something." I handed Shane the guitar and pen and he reluctantly took it.

"That's seriously all you have to say? You bring her here! This is my turf! You shouldn't just do this Mitchie!" Shane was upset. His eyes looked hurt, and he was playing with his hair which from past experience I knew he did when he was distressed.

"Please Shane! Just do it!"

"Fine," he scribbled something on the guitar and handed it back to Nina.

Completely clueless Nina started screaming, "OH MY GOD, SHANE GRAY WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Her eyes were glistening again, and I knew that if she knew the truth her smile would fade and tears would fall.

"Come on Ninz," Caitlyn called from me and she walked off to the seats with Nina.

Shane gave me a look indicating that he was about to rant off at me, but before he had the chance another mother and daughter had come over and steal his attention. He turned around to look at me before he was dragged off by a five year old, and all I could say was, "I'm sorry."

~xoxo~

As I reached my front row seat Nina suddenly became very curious about Shane and I, "Mommy, what happened back there? Shane seemed angry at you."

I felt my eyes watering, and my heart was racing. Caitlyn noticed my distress and answered for me, "Hun, Mommy and Shane were friends back in High School. We all went to a camp together, it's nothing important. Don't worry babe, and enjoy the show."

Nina looked up at me once more, before reluctantly turning and facing the stage.

When the introduction music started playing, it almost defended me, but the sound of over 1000 screaming girls had already done the job. Three darkened figures appeared on the stage before us, and when three spotlights hit them and their instruments the crowd erupted into louder and fiercer noises.

Shanes face had an over dramatic smile put on, and I could tell that it was only to cover the pain of what I had put him through. I didn't want to feel like this. I didn't want to feel guilty for not introducing Nina to Shane earlier, because I knew that he was the one that left us. He noticed me in the front row and for a moment, our eyes locked. He had a look of hurt and sorrow, a look of sadness and aplogy. Maybe he had changed? But no, I couldn't let myself think like that. He can't have changed. He would have contacted me earlier to meet Nina. He wouldn't let a little girl grow up without a father if he had changed. So no, I wouldn't accept that he had changed, because he hadn't.

~xoxo~

The show ended and I looked over to Caitlyn's seat and she smiled at me. Nina stood up and proudly announced that she needed to use the bathroom before we would go inside for the special backstage tour and our second meet and greet. I didn't want to have to see them again, but I had promised Nina. I had promised Nina that today we would do anything she wanted, and after all, I had bought her the ticket to come in the first place.

"Come on Ninz, I'll take you. I think Mommy needs to go get a drink of water or something." Caitlyn had noticed the tears trickling down my face, as the last song Connect 3 had performed was '_Gotta Find You'. _

I hadn't listened to that song in years, 9 years! And today, I had to listen to it twice? It was just too much for me to handle, and Caitlyn knew it.

"Alright Aunty C, lets go!" Nina stated.

As Cait was being dragged off my a busting girl, she turned around to say, "go on inside, get something to drink or eat. I'll come in after and we will go to the meet and greet together. It's going to be fine Mitch."

"God I hope so..."

~xoxo~

I looked around the crowed room for a seat, but I couldn't find one. There were screaming children and worried parents as far as the eye could see. I did however notice a door towards the back of the room. I needed a moment alone, and if that meant sitting in an unfamiliar room alone, that's what I was going to do.

As I made my way to the door, I looked around to make sure nobody would see me, and in a quick, single move, I opened the door and slammed it shut. I faced the door and pressed my palms up against it and began to cry. A overwhelming amount of emotions crashed over me all at once, and I couldn't control the tears anymore.

After a minute or two of loud sobs I heard a door open behind me and a recognizable voice scream, "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN OUR DRESSING ROOM!" Oh my god. This was the Connect 3 dressing room, and with my face still facing the door I apologized and told them I would leave.

Shane recognized my voice, "Mitchie?" He asked in a calm and sensitive voice.

I heard Nate whisper to Jason that they should leave the room and give us some alone time. A door opened, then shut, and I knew Shane and I were alone.

"Mitchie? Are you alright?" Shane asked again, concerned because I still wasn't answering him.

"What?"

"What's wrong?" His voice sounded almost as if he cared.

"What's wrong? Seriously! What's wrong! That's what you have to say! Oh my god Shane, seriously!" I turned around. My upset emotions had turned into vicious and angry ones. "I can't BELIEVE you just asked me what's wrong! After everything Shane!"

He just looked at me. His eyes full of hurt and discomfort, "I'm sorry Mitch..."

I was gobsmacked. He was sorry? "Huh?" was all I managed to get out.

"I said I'm sorry. I mean, about this afternoon, at the meet and greet."

Oh.. He was only sorry about the meet and greet. Not about the months I was alone and pregnant, and all the years I had to raise a daughter without a father. "Oh-"

He interrupted, "what? Aren't I allowed to be sorry for before the show?"

I didn't really know what to say, "I didn't mean that Shane-"

He interrupted again, "then what did you mean Mitchie!" He was upset and hurt, and I could see that after seeing how alike he and his beautiful daughter looked, and all the years he missed out on he was regretting leaving us, and the only way he could express his emotions was through anger.

"I mean you only said you were sorry for the meet and greet. You didn't even bother to apologize for the years Nina and I were left alone, struggling to survive. You're not even sorry for leaving you're gorgeous daughter to grow up without a father! I forgive you for this afternoon; you were shocked, but I will NEVER forgive you for leaving us."

And with that I ran out the door, and into the crowds of people lining up, waiting for Connect 3 to appear.

Shane ran after me, but only made it a small distance before he was recognized and taken into the hands of the masses of girls.

~xoxo~

Standing in the meet and greet line for the second time today was harder than I would have thought. It was harder because I was still unable to tell Caitlyn what had happened with Shane only ten minutes before, due to the presents of Nina. She was still oblivious to everything that was going on. I was happy about that, but deeply, sort of, I wanted her to know. I wanted her to have a father figure in her life, and someone she could rely on, but even if I told her that her father was Shane, I knew we couldn't rely on him. Ever.

**Okay, that chapter is about 500 words longer than I normally do. I know it's not much, but slowly I am increasing word value. So next chapter probably 2000+ words! **

**Mitchie met Shane! Great! At least that parts out of the way, but will there be Smitchie moments along the way? You'll never know... keep reading and find out shortly.**

**Facts - I live in Australia so I have trouble sometimes labelling things. For example, the trunk of a car in the US is a boot of a car here, and usually I spell mom as mum. I have tried to change things a bit and try to use American words, rather than Australian because most of my readers are from the US. **

**Also, I'm on winter break at the moment, so I have more free time to write. It's made me happy sitting down and writing sometimes two chapters in a day, but my hands do get quite sore.**

**But keep reviewing! I love you forever if you do!**

**Stay strong - Amy .xo**

**Ps. add me: twitter / lovaticlovexo**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I seriously cannot apologize enough. Every day when I check my messages I see unread messages from fanfiction telling me that someone has favourite my story, or put it on alert, but I haven't been feeling the urge to write. But here I am again, first of September, feeling that maybe, just maybe I should start writing again. So here I am, writing. **

**I won't tell you why I haven't been writing, because that would be long, and I get mad at people when they do that on their own stories so all I'll say is sorry. **

**SORRY I CAN'T GET BACK TO REVIEWERS, BUT I LOVE YOU ALL.**

"Next please," I heard Shane's voice whisper as he saw Cait, Nina and I approaching the signing table. I felt Caitlyn nudge my back, encouraging me, telling me everything would be alright. She didn't know what had just gone down though...

"Hey Shane!" Nina excitedly screamed, as she noticed him giving her a half sort of smile. "Your concert was so good!"

Shanes eyes lit up, I'm not sure if it was because of seeing his beautiful daughter, or just having a conversation with her, but I could genuinely see happiness over his face. "It wasn't just me Nina, Nate and Shane did alot too."

"I know," Nina giggled, "I loved the huge drum thing at the end Nate! It was so awesome! I wish I could play drums.."

We all laughed, I'm not even sure why, but we were running out of things to talk about, and had to somehow fill in the lingering silences.

"So, should we get that signed for you sweetie?" I asked with persistence, yet not trying to be rude. Shane could tell I wanted to leave, and for that I felt bad, but I just couldn't bring myself to stand around here any longer, pretending that we were going to see each other again after today. He had left us before, and without a doubt I could tell he regretted that, but I knew he wasn't going to give up his career, his fans, and his life. Not for us.

Shanes eyes caught mine, and for a minute I almost sensed he wanted to talk, but before long, the connection was lost, and Nina, Cait and I were being pushed away by a group of screaming girls wanting to just grap a glimpse of the superstar trio.

~xoxo~

As the car pulled into the driveway, Nina bounded out and rushed inside, just waiting to go and play her newly signed guitar. I thanked Michael for the ride home and stepped outside.

"Mitch, wait!" Cait yelled out just before the car engine had started, "are you sure you don't want us to take Nina tonight? I mean, today's been tough, you want to be alone? Or wait!" Cait always said 'Oh wait' when she thought of one of her _brilliant _ideas, "I could stay here!"

For once, her idea was brilliant, "Oh Cait, really? That would mean so much!" It was Nina's birthday dinner tonight, a little tradition Nina and I have, and I couldn't miss it, but I do think it would be easier to cope with all her 'Shane' talk with Caitlyn here.

Cait told Michael what was happening, and we both waved as he pulled away. As we walked up the front path towards the house I put my arm around her, she's possibly the best friend I could ask for.

~xoxo~

"NINA! YOUR BIRTHDAY DINS IN 10 MINTUES, GET IN YOUR JAMMIES PLEASE!" Nina had been in her room for the last 3 hours, and it was fastly approaching 12am, it seemed almost like she'd forgotten the importance of this night.

_Nina's birthday dinner was something we had been celebrating since she was four. Every year,we would stay up the entire night of her birthday, and only eat dinner when it reached 11:30pm. We sat on our front lawn under fairy lights and watched the stars shine. We would then count down the last 10 seconds of her birthday, and suddenly, it would be another whole year until another special night like this. It mean a lot to us, this dinner. I guess it was since we were all each other had, for a very long time. _

"Cait, I'm worried, Nina's been in her room for3 hours, isn't this what teenagers are meant to do? She's only 8! She's growing up too fast!" I was panicked, I thought that maybe she had caught onto something at the concert today, and she realised that Shane was her dad, and that she hated me now, for lying to her. But Cait reassured me that I was going insane, which was what she was here for after all.

"Mitch, don't panic. You know she's just playing her guitar. She was out here before as well remember, getting her pyjamas, so we know she remembers, I'm sure she just needed to cool off after all the screaming, and singing this afternoon..." She chucked me a photo frame, and I only just caught it. It was a photo of the first special birthday dinner Nina and I shared together, four years ago today. Nina was wearing cute cow pyjamas, whilst I was in neon purple. "You have to remember times like this Mitch, they come and go, well that's what I'd say to my 'usual' friends. But you're different, you remember everything, and over think everything. You and Nina have the closest relationship I know; she'll never forget something like this."

"Promise me?"

"Promise!" Nina said cutely as she bounded across the room into my arms, "lets go outside yeah?"

"Yeah sweetie."

~xoxo~

The fairy lights were glistening and we had finished our dinner, "20 seconds to go mom! Aunty C, you can count with us!"

Caitlyn looked up, "of course sweetie."

"10... 9... 8... 7... Nina looked so happy. I don't know why I was so worried. She's the best daughter I could possibly imagine.. 3... 2... Nina was grinning at me with a huge smile on her face... 1! Happy not birthday sweetie! I love you so much you beautiful girl!"

"I love you too mom," Nina smiled as she kissed my check. "Can I show you something mom? And Aunty C?"

I smiled, "anything sweetie."

"Okay!" She jumped up and ran inside, and within minutes she was back, holding her guitar, the one she'd gotten sign. "Well today, at the concert I mean, I figured out my favourite song."

"Yeah, which is it Ninz?" Cait asked?

Instead of answering, Nina began playing the chords for the course of _Gotta Find You_ and sung along.

_You're the voice I hear inside my head_

_The reason that I'm singing_

_I need to find you_

_I gotta find you_

_You're the missing piece..._

I was whipping tears away from my face as I asked, "Nina, why is that your favourite song?"

She walked up and hugged me, but not just a cute hug, a long, meaningful hug, "I'm not sure why you did, but today, when Shane sung that song, you cried. I hate seeing you cry mom, so please don't. But I felt the song had meaning, and for some strange reason, I felt the meaning concerning me, or within me. I'm not sure."

All I could do was smile. My daughter is well beyond her years.

**A/N woo hoo! I wrote a chapter, sorry about the length and poor quality, haven't written in a while. **

**Stay strong, amy. xo**

**Follow on twitter? Twitter / imrsjonas**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapters a bit different, but here we go! **

*One Week Later

"Wake up! Aunty C is here!" Nina screamed up the staircase, directed to me, as I still lay in bed at 4pm in the afternoon.

I had gone downhill since the concert. I don't think I, let alone Nina understood why, but I could tell she was concerned. I hadn't acted this way since... Since before Nina. I hated that I was feeling this way, but I couldn't bring myself to do otherwise. I had relapsed, and there was only one person I knew of who could bring me out of this dark, unwelcoming hole I was in, and that person was Shane. I couldn't dare call him though, just because he was here for me the last time I was ill, doesn't mean he would willingly be around now, as if. But I knew, what no one else did, it was my only choice.

"Mhm.." I mumbled into my sheets as I drifted back into a daze.

"Mitch! I don't care if you're sleeping... again! I'm coming in," I heard Caitlyn say as she knocked quietly on my bedroom door. "Here, I brought your favourite, some red bulls. Take a sip hun?"

I brought my head out of my pillow and looked up at Caitlyn, tears pouring down my face, "thanks cait, but please, I need to be alone. I really appreciate this, but please."

"Okay sweetie, I get it. Well, I get the direct cause, I'm really not in the know of how to help. How about i take Nina for the day?"

I looked up hopingly at her.

"Or the week. Anything Mitch." At that moment Nina walked into the room, holding a cucumber and cheese sandwich, the first thing I had taught her to make herself. "Where am I going for a week Aunty C? Mom?"

I sat up in the bed and pulled my daughter in for a hug, "you're going to have a sleepover with aunty c for a few days Ninz, is that okay with you?"

She looked down at her plate, "is it so you can get better?"

"So I can think about some things, alone gorgeous. Okay?"

She stood up and handed Caitlyn the plate, "I made this for mom, make her eat it, please?" And she walked out of the room, only turning back and saying, "I miss you mommy, please get better. I love you."

Obviously Nina was more in the know than I knew.

Caitlyn stood up, still holding the sandwich, "alright, I'm going to pack Nina's bags and go, please, do something while we're gone. Eat something, please? Here.." She handed me the sandwich. "Please, take a bite? Eat it up, now, please, I need to know that your at least eating again."

Unhappily, I took a bite out of the cucumber and cheese sandwich. I had usually loved these, but the taste of the bed going soggy in my mouth alarmed me, and made me instantly ill. I swallowed, and gave Cait a smile, telling her I'd be alright.

"Okay, well bye Mitch, see you later?"

"But C, thankyou. For everything."

About 5 minutes later, after I heard the door slam downstairs I jumped out of bed, and rushed towards the bathroom. I sat on the floor, staring into the bowl of the toilet, thinking I wouldn't even need to gag myself, because of the sickly feeling I was still feeling from the sandwich, but I was wrong. I placed my index finger down my throat, and after a minute or two my stomach was empty. Not only empty of food, but when I looked, I saw a blood stain on the seat of the toilet. Had it gotten this bad again? I was vomiting blood again?

I moved back onto the wall and burst into tears. I was loosing my best friend, and my daughter, and the horrible feeling of disgust, pitty and sorrow in the pit of my stomach was preventing me from doing anything to stop it from happening.

I saw some sleeping tablets on top of the counter, and swallowed a few.

~xoxo~

I woke up looking more shocking than ever. Caitlyn's words were ringing around, and around, and around in my head, "please, do something while we're gone." The only thing I could think to do was call Shane, **he **would know what to do, and how to help me. But I hadn't spoken to him in years except from the concert, and I didn't think he would be too pleased to talk to me. But I did the unthinkable, and dialled his number.

"Hello? Shane speaking? ... Hello? Anyone there?" He had picked up.

"Uh.. Shane.."

"Mitch? Is that you?"

**Okay, so obviously this chapter is rather short, which means theres more to come! And yes, secondly, this story has taken a turn right? Were you expecting this? Okay, well not EVERYTHING has been revealed yet, way more deep, dark, illuring secrets to come ;)**

**Please keep reading, I promise i'll take your advice into concideration if you leave me some reviews? Okay go, review! Even just say "hi i read ur story lol" that'd be nice.**

**Amy xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

**One thing: I just re-read chapter seven and noticed ALOT of mistakes, sorry guys. **

**Anyways, here's chapter 8. Enjoy.**

"_Hello? Shane speaking? ... Hello? Anyone there?" He had picked up._

"_Uh.. Shane.."_

"_Mitch? Is that you?"_

I felt nauseous all over again, and I knew I had done wrong by calling him, "I'm sorry, this was a mistake." I went to hang up when I heard Shane yell at me through the receiver.

"No Mitch! Wait!" His voice was filled with sorrow, and pain, and we had only spoken a few simple words. "Hold on, talk to me. Please?"

"Uh.. I.." I was lost for words. There was so much I needed to say, to be able to spill to someone, but I had hardly spoken to the guy in 9 years, how am I going to be able to trust him? "I can't Shane, I'm sorry." And with that, I hung up the phone.

By now I was in tears, and as I collapsed against the bathroom door I felt the tears literally pouring off my dace, now, I was not only crying for myself, but I was crying for Nina, and Caitlyn, and Shane. And I was crying from the blood in the toilet, and the scars that were now healed on my wrists... Oh yeah, the scars. For a moment, I felt better, remembering the past, and how I used to make myself feel better. I looked towards the basin, and saw my razor. Before I knew it I was standing next to the sink, holding the piece of metal in my hands.

"Don't do it Mitch, you don't have to." I had begun talking to myself. "Mitch no! No Mitch!" By now I was screaming. I knew I didn't have to, but as I held the blade against my cool skin, a satisfying feeling overtook my body, and before I knew it I had over 10 fresh slits covering my wrists.

In tears, I began screaming, "What have you done! What were you thinking Mitchie?" I felt ghastly ill suddenly, and ran to the toilet, to only find myself vomiting again. I hadn't eaten in days, so I'm not sure what there was to be sick with, but all I knew was I had gone back to my old days, and I had lost my only change of recovery.

I sat against the tub and looked around the bathroom; blood was spluttered across the basin and floor, and around the toilet. There were razors spread everywhere, and the entire contents of the cupboard was sprawled across the floor, from a moment of anger. What had I become? I held my knees up against my chest and just screamed, cried and cried some more. All I knew was that I was sick.

~xoxo~

I was isolated, well not literally, I could hear people talking around me, but I was unable to move. I felt something tying my arms to my sides, and I was afraid. I opened my eyes, to see a person sleeping in a chair across the room from me, facing away, so I was unable to see who it was. There was also a bunch of doctors with clipboards next to me.

"Mitchie Torres, hi, I'm Dr Stevenson, I'll be you're doctor here.." I was soon to interrupt him..

"But.. Where am I? I don't remember..."

"You won't remember anything, you lost a lot blood. It's lucky Mr Gray got there when he did, or I don't think you'd be here right now."

I looked over to the figure sitting in the seat, just in time to see them turn around.

"Shane.."

"Mitch... You shouldn't have hung up on me like that..." His voice had a harsh sense to it, telling me he was dead serious about what he was saying, but I knew he was upset because his eyes were bloodshot. "I thought you weren't going to make it..."

"How did you?" I was cut off. Even going years without seeing each other he knew what I was thinking.

"I knew something was up, but I didn't know your new address, so I called Caitlyn. She was hesitant to tell me at first, but she was worried about you, so she told me. How long..."

Obviously I could also still tell what he was thinking, "I haven't in ages Shane, just tonight." I turned the other way and saw the doctors leaving the room.

"We'll come back and get you for more tests in about an hour Mitchie." Doctor Stevenson told me.

"Okay thanks."

"But why Mitch? I thought you were better..." Shane sounds worried. "I hated those memories coming back."

"Well I hated having to raise a child alone!" I snapped. I hadn't meant to, but it's just what happens when I'm in a bad place.

"Mitch..." He was almost in tears. "I'm so sorry... I was just so young. I didn't know what to do."

"Well I'm sure you're blonde misses helped you forget us." Now we were both in tears.

"I left her Mitch, you know that. You also know I've changed, I knew you could tell last week at the concert that I was a different man."

"Nevertheless, it's not the same now Shane! Everything's different." My words came out harsher than they were meant to, and I instantly regretted it.

"But it is the same Mitchie! It's exactly the same! You're still here, in that same bed, and I'm still here! Standing here worried sick!" He was now basically screaming as well.

Then I looked around the room... It was the same room, he was right. And Dr Stevenson, he was the same Dr Stevenson, just older. How could I forget... "I guess it is... so I guess you should leave again right?"

"I can't just leave you Mitch, not like this. It wouldn't be right! I'm going to stay here, with you!" With tears now rolling down his cheeks, he went and sat on the chair again, picking up some music magazine and began reading.

"Shane.."

"Yes Mitch?"

"Have you spoken to Caitlyn since?"

"Don't worry," he paused, and almost had a smile on his face as he spoke the next word, "_Nina_ won't be coming by, I know it wouldn't be right to show her this..."

"Shane.."

"Yes Mitch?"

"Thank you." And with that I knew we were at least on speaking terms.

**So guys, was that good? Bad? Let me know yeah? **

**Please, leave me some more reviews? I will love you. Just please, let me know you're reading this story! Just say "Hi I read your story lol." That's fine! Just yeah.**

**I'll update soon!**

**+ please pm me if you want to hear the idea for some new stories i'm working on! **

**-Amy xoxo **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much for ALL the reviews! I got so many, and I have tried to reply to everyone's (unless your anno.) I just re-read it and noticed how cheesy I made the whole 'Shane and Mitchie are talking again thing.' If I ever read a story that sounds like the characters become friends again so quickly, I hate them for writing it like that! So yeah, sorry about the 'quick' movement of the plot.**

The hospital was not quite as bad as I remembered, but I knew that was because this time I knew what I was doing. I'd been through these theory sessions before, and I had already been through a recovery course, so I knew what to expect. The machine noises and the constant sound of people talking was all familiar, even though almost ten years or more had passed since I was last here. Shane and I were talking again, and no, I hadn't forgiven him for everything he had done in the past, and no, we weren't best friends or 'together' as some people put it, but we were talking, and that's all that I was worried about. He had saved my life, literally, again, and I couldn't block him out of my life all over again after that.

I had been living at this hospital for two and a half weeks now, and unless Shane had a concert or rehursal, he was constantly at my side, helping me through theory and eating crappy hospital foods with me. We had shared a few brief discussions about Nina, but none of them involved when they would meet, for real, and when Nina would find out that Shane, her biggest idol was her father.

I missed Nina like crazy, I hadn't seen her the entire time I was here, and I was thankful that she didn't have to see me in this state, but I did really miss her. Caitlyn was still looking after here, and dropped by every other day with a card, or flowers that Nina and she had picked out together. Nina and I talked every day on the phone, and I felt that was enough.

The day before I was due to be released, Caitlyn and Michael split up. Michael told her that she had to make a choice; Nina and Me, or him. She chose us, which I was so thankful for, but I felt horrible that she had to sacrifice everything for me.

"Cait, I'm so sorry," I said as I sat on the hospital bed holding a sobbing Cait in my arms. Summer had just ended, so we had time to really catch up while Nina was at school.

"Don't worry about it Mitch, if it meant to be, it'll be, and obviously we're not meant to be." She looked up at me and smiled, "you and Nina are my family, if he doesn't understand and love my family, then I don't want him to join my family."

We smiled at each other, and gave one day hug before Caitlyn said she had to go pick Nina up from school. "Thanks for looking after Nina like this Caitlyn, I really needed it."

"I know," Cait said as she looked down at my bandaged wrists. "You are feeling better though hun?"

I was nervous to tell her that I had relapsed once since coming to the hospital, last week. I was feeling sick about leaving Nina and I felt like that was the only way, but she understood completely when I told her.

"Well Mitch, everyone, even Shane believe it or not, is here for you. Hope you always remember that." She smiled, and hugged me one last time before leaving the room, running into Shane who was holding two coffee's as he walked into the room.

"See you Caitlyn," he said as he walked towards the chair which had since become 'his' chair. "I bring coffee; I thought you might need it with your last therapy session this afternoon."

"Thank you Shay," I smiled as I took a sip of the coffee. I saw Shane begin playing with his hair and nervously fidgeting. Obviously he had something to say, because this is what he does when he needs to have a serious talk.

"So..."

He caught my drift. "I was wondering... Are we, you, us, whatever going to tell Nina about me..." He paused, "You know, how I'm her..." He kept pausing, "I'm her father."

"Shane, I know it's hard that you left us, her, me, everyone all those years ago, but you don't have to think its awkward or whatever to call yourself her father. Yeah, I'm sure it'll take some getting used to, but I think Nina will love you, actually, I know that, but seriously, we will tell her alright? Tomorrow maybe? I need you here, to help me Shane, and I don't think I can have you around without her knowing, so soon alright?"

He smiled, "Alright, soon." He looked so happy, like finally he could call himself a father. "Mitch?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, for letting me back in. I screwed up, I know, but really, thanks."

"You're not fully forgiven yet Shane, but I do like having you around." I smiled, and he knew I was kidding, partly.

~xoxo~

Shane decided that he should drive me home, instead of Nina and Caitlyn coming to the hospital to get me. Nina wouldn't have to see the 'crazy people' ward then, and I was more thankful for that. I sat on the bed nervous, as I would be about to leave the place I'd been staying for the last two weeks for the first time. Shane ran into the room, panting.

"Shane! What's wrong?"

"It the... Paparazzi. They're everywhere. Normally, there's only a few who have been following me here, but someone must have tipped them off that you're leaving today, and I guess that they want to know 'who's the girl Shane Gray has been secretly visiting.."

"Oh... What do we do?" I must have sounded panicked, or like I was about to cry. But really, I was having a good day today, and this wasn't really that bothering. But then again, I didn't really want the entire world to know I was the 'crazy' friend of Shane Gray. But maybe, people remembered me? And I will be the ex-girlfriend gone nuts or something! Okay, maybe I was a bit panicked, just maybe.

"Hey Mitch, it'll be alright. We have our own lives right? Don't fret. Remember? You've done this before..." he paused for a minute, remembering the times we had spent together, as a couple, out shopping or whatever with cameras following us everywhere. He pulled me in for a hug, "if anything goes wrong, we'll get through it together."

Jokingly, I smiled, and said, "you really are the old Shane, aren't you?"

All he did was smile back, since we had already signed the discharge papers, we were then instantly heading with our bags to the front door. And at the front door was the paparazzi, he was right, there was heaps of them! Everywhere, cameras, microphones, people with notepads and even fans there trying to get autographs.

"Shane, I'm scared." I looked over at him, he had a look of sorrow on his face.

"Mitch, it'll be alright, the cars right there. Lets go, okay?"

"Okay." And with that we were being snapped at, asked questions, people asking was I Mitchie Torres? Shane's old girlfriend? His old finance? Having people remember me was kind of cool, but I wasn't in the state to stop and say, "YES, THATS ME. THANKS FOR REMEMBERING." I just needed to go home, and see Nina, and be in my own bed.

Soon, we were in the car, Shane gave everyone one wave as we were closing the door, and with that, we were alone again, safe.

"See, it wasn't that bad." Shane smiled.

**I could have easily made this chapter at least double to size, but I decided to split it into two chapters, so I'd have more chapters all up! I know it's not very long, but yeah. Next chapter is soon, hope you liked it **

**Did you guys pick up the hint where it says that Mitchie is his old finance? Well if you didn't, you did now. Surprises, Suprises! Well, that's more stories you don't know about, and it's still to come. Enjoy!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! **

**-Amy xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

We were sitting in the car, driving towards Caitlyn's house to pick up Nina. I would finally get to see my baby girl. There was a lingering silence throughout the car, and soon enough Shane had picked up on it, "so... It shouldn't be awkward right? Us? In a car? Alone?"

I looked at him, "no, not at all." It came out to enthusiastically, "well maybe, it is. But you're right, it shouldn't be!"

"It's not like this is the first time we have been truly alone together in almost 9 years or anything." This time, I knew he was joking from the giant smile covering his face. He knew this was really the first time in years we had been alone, and truthfully, it was rather awkward. I didn't know what to say. He kept talking though, "on another note, we'll be seeing Nina right? I mean today?"

"Uh yeah, I guess we will." It had just occurred to me that Shane was driving me to go and get Nina. If he is there, won't she get curious on why. Or if Nina wasn't allowed to come and visit me, why a supposed 'stranger' was allowed to come and visit. Or why he was driving me home. Now I was panicked, I hadn't thought this through, had I?

He spotted the worried look on my face, "Mitch, don't look so panicked, we don't have to tell her anything today. We discussed this, we can do it all another time. Whenever it suits you..." He looked disheartened. Obviously he wanted to become a part of his daughter's life again, and sure, I wanted him too, but what I wasn't sure of was if I wanted to allow another person into my- our family. I wasn't known as the 'family girl' I guess, and I had been through a lot as a child, and I didn't want my daughter having to grieve the loss of her own father. Suddenly, I was lost in thought.

_Flashback... (Flashback will still be in Mitchie's point of view)_

_As I hid under my duvet cover, head plastered in pillows trying to dull the noise, I could still hear the screaming battle coming from the room down the hall. Once again, my father had arrived home drunk, and began the nightly task of abusing my mom. I was afraid, and couldn't bear the thought of sleeping if my mom was going through such torture only just down the hall._

_Beeping noises came from my radio clock next to me informing me of today's date. '12:00am August 20__th__ 2001'. Great, what a way to begin my first, and only 9__th__ birthday. _

_Ten minutes passed and the yelling got louder, and more violent. I was petrified by now, and have never felt like this in my entire life. I hid further and further under my sheets, but could still hear the screams until suddenly everything become eerily quiet. I was afraid to move, to leave my room and find out what was happening. _

_I heard footsteps coming towards my bedroom, as I listened to the thudding of the boots on the carpet, tears began trickling down my cheeks. I heard the squeaky hinges of my door open, and more footsteps coming towards my bed, abruptly my sheets were pulled off me, "GET OUT OF BED YOU PATHETIC BITCH! GET OVER HERE AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" My dad was screaming right in my face, and his breath smelled of a very strong alcohol. _

_I didn't dare move, all I could do was lay there and cry more.. and more..._

"_WHAT DID I TELL YOU BITCH? GET OVER HERE!"_

_End of flashback..._

Fingers were clicking in front of my face, and I knew that Shane was worried, "Mitch, you alright? You haven't said anything in like almost 10 minutes."

I whipped tears away from my cheeks, but not quickly enough for Shane not to notice. "Oh Mitchie, what's wrong?" He looked genuinely concerned.

"It's nothing Shay, don't worry about it." The thoughts of my father still roamed around my mind, and I knew they would be for days. "I think later... Tell Nina later on." I couldn't bare talk to her about Shane today.

"Oh... Sure. Whatever you want Mitchie." He looked upset, but I knew it was for the best.

~xoxo~

We arrived at Caitlyn's and noticed Cait's car was in her driveway still. She wasn't meant to be here, she was meant to be picking up Nina from school, and I was worried something was wrong. I over react a lot, I know, but why was she still here? Nina ended school over 5 minutes ago!

Shane knew this too, "Mitch, it'll be alright. Don't worry, obviously Caitlyn has made other plans."

It turns out that Shane was right, when we got inside Cait told us that one of Nina's friends was going to bring her home, so she'd have time to talk to us.

"Either you have to tell Nina today, or Shane's gotta go." Caitlyn was abrupt, and got straight to her point.

Shane and I looked at each other, and then at Caitlyn. "What?" We both asked in unison?

"Look, she found an old photo album of mine yesterday." She sighed, "The camp rock one." We all knew what that meant, a heap of pictures of Shane and I. "She now obviously knows you guys have... history, and well she's not to happy that Mitchie hasn't told her about this."

I looked down at my shoes, "she should be. I know how much you already mean to her Shane, she's your biggest fan, and I didn't even tell her, what was I thinking!" Suddenly, I was panicked, and I stood up, "Why didn't I tell her C? Why! She's going to hate me if I tell her now!" I burst into tears, suddenly it was hitting me how stupid I had been not to tell her sooner, before the entire Connect 3 obsession began.

"Mitch, you did the right thing, I was a jerk remember? If I had of been in her life before, I would have screwed up, and you know it. It's better this way." He walked over to me and held me close to his heart, he knew this was basically the only way to comfort me when I was having a panic attack. He would know, he's done this for me countless times before. "Shhhh babe, it'll be alright."

I looked up at him, "babe?"

His face went bright red, "oh, uhhh..." he was lost for words, "habit?"

I smiled, "it's alright Shay, don't worry." I went and sat on the couch, and looked at Caitlyn, "alright, when she gets home, I'll do it. I'll tell her."

Caitlyn smiled at me, "you're doing the right thing Mitch, promise."

Before long a car had pulled up in the driveway, and Nina was bounding into the house. "Mom! You're here! You're back!" I pulled Nina into a tight hug, and I never wanted to let go. I then signalled for Caitlyn to take Shane into another room, without Nina seeing him. I needed to talk to her first, without Shane. When she finally begged to be let down, I let her and told her we had to talk.

"Is it about the album mommy? Because I want to know, do you know Shane?" She looked so innocent.

"Yeah baby, I do. I did. I do. We were really good friends a long time ago."

"It looks like you were more than friends..." Nina was talking about the photos in the album, clearly she had stumbled across some of Shane and I being... a couple.

"Well yes, I guess we were." I wasn't expecting her to be the one bringing up Shane and mine relationship. "That's actually what I need to talk about with you." I looked her in the eyes, "but **only **if that's alright with you hun."

She nodded in approval.

"Well one year, at the camp Shane and I were at, we... we slept together sweetie." She looked up at me, shocked.

"You mean like... Sex?" Nina was so cute. Her voice was squeaky. I remembered that only last month Nina had begun family planning courses at school, so she knew exactly what I was talking about, and where 'babies came from.'

"Yeah baby girl. Sex. And you know all about that right?" I was stalling. She told me all about her class at school, and how they learnt about babies, and how you need to be careful, otherwise you have a baby. She didn't however know what being careful meant, as schools weren't meant to teach that at this stage.

"We'll Nina, Shane and I weren't careful enough it seems. I found out later I was going to have a baby." Nina was deep in thought, listening to every word I was saying.. "and when I told Shane, he wasn't too happy. We were only young you see, and Shane's career was just taking off. Even though we had been dating for years already, and even engaged..."

Nina stopped me, "YOU were engaged to Shane Gray!" She looked like her eyes were about to pop out of her sockets.

"Yeah Ninz, I was. Shane and I, we were in love. Until I told him about the baby. Shane was still a 'party boy' as we like to call it. And even though he proposed, he wasn't ready to settle down and start a family. But I was, so we split up." I didn't want to have to tell Nina about Shane dumping me for a shallow, Hollywood, blonde bimbo, so I guess I told her the 'censored' version, but I felt that was enough.

Nina was once again in deep thought, "What happened? To the baby?"

"Well Nina, that's what I need to talk to you about..." I paused and motioned to Caitlyn who had been listening from the room behind Nina the entire time, to bring Shane in. "Well Nina, I kept the baby... I think it's about time you meet your dad... don't you?"

Nina looked at me wide eyed, and then turned around only to see Shane and Caitlyn walk into the room...

**A/N: Well there you have it! Another chapter!**

**Cliffy? Hahha, you love me ;)**

**Anyways, reviews are always loved. **

**-Amy xoox**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I cannot explain just how your reviews have made me feel. Thank you, so much. I've tried to reply to the reviews (except anno) and I'm so grateful for you all. Xo**

**Also, everyone has bought Unbroken I hope? I DID TODAY, IT WAS FINALLY RELEASED IN AUSTRALIA! So if you haven't bought it, I don't know why you're still here... Read the chapter then head onto itunes and buy it... NOW! **

**Also, did you see Joe's interview outside the House of Blues? He basically confirmed that his song 'I'm Sorry' was about Demi. Too cute! **

**Here's chapter 11 lovelies... **

Chapter 11

The silence was never ending. Nina hadn't said a word since she'd realised that _she _was the baby, the baby I'd kept. The baby I had with Shane all those years ago. She was it. She hadn't moved, hadn't spoken, and I was really concerned. Maybe I shouldn't have told her? It wasn't the right time. She didn't need to know! Oh god, what have I done...

*_one hour before hand..._

_Nina looked at me wide eyed, and then turned around only to see Shane and Caitlyn walk into the room..._

My voice was almost shaking.. "Ninz, this is Shane.. you're father."

She looked over at me, eyes getting wider and wider. Her face was expressionless, but I could feel her screaming at the top of her lungs at me, "WHY, WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME? THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE!"

What have I done? This wasn't the right thing to do, was it. Shane was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, opposite Nina. She still hadn't moved. I gave Caitlyn a look of encouragement, maybe she could help us? We weren't sure what to say to Nina. Was she happy? I didn't think so. But maybe she was, and she was just speechless. No, this silence has been going for too long... I could tell Shane was thinking the same thing. He's eyes were darting around the room, looking for a way out, a way out of this awful, awkward, unsocial situation. Caitlyn noticed, thank god.

"Shane, how about you come with me to get some iced teas from the fridge? You know Mitch needs to keep her fluids up."

He looked thankful, and quickly agreed before darting out of the room.

"Nina, say something." She gave me a blank expression. "Come on, please Ninz, I need to know what you're thinking. I need to. Please." I was basically begging her, almost in tears, I tried to move in closer to her, and give her a hug. She was quick to pull away and once again, sat there motionless. "Fine, I'll leave you here to think, okay?" There was no response, so I walked into the kitchen to see the others.

"Oh Mitch, you alright?" Caitlyn's voice sounded so calm and sympathetic, obviously she knew I was heartbroken, but what else was she meant to say?

"I'm fine, don't worry about it." I didn't fool her, streams of tears began pouring down my face as I collapsed onto the kitchen floor. "What have I done Cait, I've ruined our relationship, our bond. She'll never trust me again. Never. You know Nina, she's the biggest grudge holder I know."

Caitlyn sat down on the floor besides me and pulled me in for a side hug. "It's going to be okay Mitch, I promise."

I wiped away the tears rolling down my cheeks and began to stand up, when I noticed Shane was missing. "Where'd Shane go?"

"Not sur-" Caitlyn was cut of by the sound of his voice. "Oh, I think I found him.

We peeked around the kitchen door only to see Nina, still sitting in the same seat, and Shane, who had pulled up a seat and was sitting next to her. I began listening in on their conversation...

"Nina, I know you're upset, but please talk."

She didn't respond.

"I know I shouldn't have left, but I was young. If that's why you're mad, I'm sorry, but we can't fix anything unless we talk. We'll never have a relationship if we can't make it through this..."

Obviously Shane was completely devastated by this as well. Still, Nina didn't respond.

"Okay then, we'll just sit here. You and me. Until you're ready to talk. I'm here for you."

Gosh, he really did care. But even with Shane's heartbreaking speech, Nina didn't move.

Caitlyn was quick to jump in and interrupt the awkward silence, "Iced teas ready!" She walked in carrying a tray with four iced teas sitting on top.

No one responded, and I had to say something, "Oh yum! Thanks Cait, Ninz you want some?" There was still no response. "Shane?" Gladly, Shane accepted the tea.

"Thanks Mitch." He took a sip. "Oh and you too Caitlyn."

We sat there in silence for at least another 15 minutes listening to each other breath and drink their tea before Shane spoke. "I'm just so sorry..." His voice was calm, yet broken. He was sad, but wasn't showing the emotions. Nina looked up at him, and quickly looked back down. Maybe, just maybe for the first time in 45 minutes she had shown just SOME emotion. But as soon as it came, it was gone. "I cannot explain it, I'm just so sorry... Look what I've done..." He looked down, and some emotion started to show. He was clasping his hands together so hard, they were almost turning white. He was genuinely upset.

"It's not your fault Shane..." I looked over at him and gave him a smile, he tried to hold back his tears and he gave me a kind of half smile back.

Still, Nina didn't move.

As I stared into an oblivion my mind got lost in thought...

_Flashback... (Flashback in Mitchie's point of view)_

_I guess I could say, the last three months that have passed since my birthday have been less than perfect. Although one good thing has come from this, I learnt all about god. I consider myself Christian, although I've never been baptised. I believe in god, 100% and I've joined the local church choir. _

_I believe good things happen to good people, and bad things will happen to bad people. One thing I know, my so called 'dad' will be given bad things._

_It's not right that an 9 year old girl is stuck her, on a Saturday morning._

_I felt the door open and a cool breeze ran over to my arms, giving me goose bumps. Obviously there was another patient here to see Dr Stevenson. I looked over at the young girl, her blonde hair blowing behind her, her long, skinny legs in tight jeans and her beautiful face smiling. I wonder why she's here? This isn't a place for people like her, happy people. What was I? I was a fat, brunette, 9 year old. Taking myself to the doctors. This was the place for me. _

_I saw a man walk out of the room, "Mitchie Torres? I'll be seeing you now." I stood up just as the blonde girl was sitting down, she gave me a smile, and began reading a magazine._

_When I walked into the room, I saw Dr Stevenson give me a concerned look, "so Mitchie, how old are you dear?" _

_I was nervous, "I'm only 9."_

"_Sweetie, do you realise you need a parent or guardian to accompany you to all appointments until you are of legal age?" He looked sorry that he was turning me away._

"_Oh, alright." I got up to turn away, but Dr Stevenson seemed to have more to say. "Mitchie, you're arm, may I see it?" _

_Suddenly I realised I had taken my jumped off in the waiting room, "uh, I, uhm..."_

"_It's alright Mitchie, I won't hurt you."_

_As Dr Stevenson examined my arm, his face expression was priceless. It was disgust. Not because of what he was seeing, but of how I could have gotten them._

"_When did these happen Mitchie?"_

"_Oh, uh," I tired to think of excuses, I didn't want him knowing about everything... "I can't really remember."_

"_Mitchie," he stroked my arm, "it's okay. There's obviously a reason you came here today, so I think we'll make an exception..." I gave him a confused look. "An exception about the legal age rule."_

"_Oh."_

"_How about you tell me everything."_

"_I wouldn't know where to start."_

"_How about at the beginning..."_

"_Well, okay..."_

_End of flashback..._

_**A/N: I normally don't do A/N's in the middle of a chapter, sorry, but just to inform you, the rest of this chapter will be written from before I said an hour before... Get it? Well I hope so.**_

Shane stood up, his face red from holding it in his hands, "look, I'm going to take off for the night. I'll come check on you tomorrow Mitchie?"

"Yeah sure thing." I looked over at Nina, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she would say goodbye. No such luck. "I'll get Caitlyn to give me a lift home," I looked over at Cait promising, she nodded.

"Alright then, goodbye." He walked towards the door, turning only to say, "goodbye Nina."

She still didn't talk.

After we heard Shane's car reverse out of the driveway, I stood up, and so did Cait. "I can take you now," she looked over at Nina, "If you'd like."

Nina didn't speak, she just got up and walked towards the front door, got her bags and walked outside to the car.

"I'm so sorry Mitchie, I know how hurt you are."

"It can only get better, right?" I gave her a smile.

"I'm sure." She grabbed the keys and walked out of the house, and we drove home.

"Say thank you to Aunty C for the lif-" before I could finish my sentence, Nina was already out of the car and walking towards the house. "I'm sorry for her attitude Cait."

"It's alright Mitchie, she's just had the biggest news of her life, it'll be alright."

"Okay, well thanks for the lift." I leant over and gave Caitlyn a hug before I got out of the car, "Bye."

As soon as I'd unlocked the front door, Nina bounded up the stairs and went straight to her room, slamming the room.

Speaking to no one in particular, I said, "It's nice to be home with you to Nina..."

At around 9 at night I decided to go and check on Nina. It'd been hours since we'd arrived home, and I wasn't sure if she was ready to talk. Yet.

I knocked on her door, and there was no response. "I'm coming in Ninz. I'll just tuck you in a leave."

Nina was already laying in bed, reading her favourite book, 'The secret life of Shane Gray: The unofficial biography to Shane's life.' Obviously she was curious about her dad. More than I knew.

"We could talk about him if you'd like." I was trying to make conversation.

She looked up at me, and finally spoke. "You already told me everything. He didn't love me enough to stay. That's all there is to it." She put her book down and pulled her sheets up, therefore tucking herself in. Gosh, Nina had an attitude tonight, and I hoped Caitlyn was right when she said it would go away soon.

"Alright then, goodnight sweetie. See you tomorrow." I walked towards her door, and turned of the lights. As I was shutting the door, I heard sobs coming from Nina's bed. I flicked the lights back on, only to find tears streaming down Nina's face.

"Oh baby. I just want to talk to you. For us to have a conversation about all of this..." I walked closer and pulled Nina into a tight embrace, she chocked out the words "I'm Sorry" in between sobs and tears. "I'm so sorry mommy."

Nina soon fell asleep, and I wasn't far behind her, falling asleep next to my daughter, who maybe, just maybe was almost ready to talk about today's events.

**A/N: no cliffy! Is that good or bad? Tell me! **

**Did you like it? I've tried to make it a bit longer than normal, so I hope it's good. **

**More flashbacks are still to come! So they will make sense. Obviously, I am going to tell you what happened after the first flashback throughout the other flashbacks.**

**I'd love reviews, to tell me where I've gone right and wrong. So please, review!**

**Amy xox**

**Ps, follow my twitter? Tell me that you read my story and i'll send you updates etc! Twitter / lovatobunch**

**xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Okay, it's been months since I've updated, and I apologize. I won't get in to it too much, but I've been really sick, unable to type or think properly sick. Anyways, when I finally got better school work pilled on etc, and now I have end of year exams next week! But I've dedicated this weekend to writing this chapter. I will get it done, for you lovely people who have been checking back day in, day out to see if I've updated. It means a lot. Anyways, let's get started. **

I woke up half way through the night, only to remember what had happened that day. I looked down at Nina only to see tear stained cheeks, and swollen eyes. I was so upset for her, but I knew deep down that it would be okay, she needed to know eventually. I climbed out of bed carefully, in attempt not to wake her, but I was unsuccessful.

"Mommy," Nina spoke softly, "where are you going?"

"Hey beautiful, I'm going back to bed, you get some sleep alright?" I kept quiet, trying not to wake her further.

"Stay here, please?" She was almost crying.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I walked back over to her bed and held her close to me.

"It's just, I've ruined the chance to get to know dad—I mean Shane." She said between sobs.

"Baby, how could you ever think that? That will never be the case. Shane, he'll always want to get to know you." Now we were both lying down in her bed, sobbing and tears trickling down our faces.

"No he won't. You told me yourself, he didn't want to know me. He left us mom.."

"Oh baby, he left me. Not you. Besides, I hadn't spoken to Shane in years when I said that. He's..." I t took me a lot to say this, "he has changed a lot. He's changed so much since I knew him when we were young. He really, truly wants to get to know you."

"He hates me. He never wants to talk to me after the way I treated him when I was with him this afternoon." She was almost unable to talk because she was crying so much.

"Ninz, he knew it wouldn't be easy. He loves you, you're his daughter. He will always want to get to know you."

She smiled up at me, and her tears were easing. "You think?"

"Of course Nina."

We laid there for a while, the silence comforting. Nina was drifting to sleep when Nina asked, "Mommy? What made you love Shane?"

Love. Nina had used the word love. Had I loved Shane? Of course I had. Although, I used to wish I hadn't. He was incapable of love, back then. But he had changed right? "Well baby girl, he was... Shane Gray. What's not to love?" I laughed, and Nina giggled, knowing I was joking. "No, in all seriousness, it was my... problems that brought us closer... He was always," I paused, "almost always there for me when I needed him." I was referring to him leaving me when I had told him about Nina. "I could call him at three in the morning and he'd come running. If I was ever upset, or excited, or broken, he would... be there for me. And Nina, I guess that's why I loved him."

I stopped and smiled at the memories, then looked over at Nina, she had dosed off to sleep, a smile spread across her face. I couldn't help but smile. I kissed her cheek and laid her down in bed properly, and crept out of the room. When I got back to my bedroom, I went to my bed and lay down, sighing. Was that really why I had loved Shane? What had changed in him? I looked over at the clock, 4:07am. My mobile was laying on my bedside table, and automatically I leant over and dialled Shane's number.

I heard his voice on the other end of the receiver, he sounded tired, obviously, since it was 4 in the morning, "hello?"

"Shane, it's me."

"Mitch! Are you alright? Is everything okay! What happened?" he sounded panicked. I had to cut him off.

"No Shane, Shane, I'm fine. Nothing's the matter."

"Oh," he said with a sigh of relief. "It's 4 in the morning, why are you calling?"

Tears began trickling down my face. I sobbed into the receiver for minutes while Shane spoke soothing and calming words to me, "Shhhh, Mitchie. Everything will be alright... Don't worry Mitch... Shhhh..."

When I had finally stopped sobbing like a child, Shane asked if I wanted him to come over, and I said yes.

He must have found my spare key quite easily, because less than 20 minutes later he had found his way up to my bedroom and sat on the end of my bed so quietly that I barely noticed he was even there. I looked a wreck, my hair in all different directions, tears streaking down my cheeks and puffy eyes.

"Mitchie... are you okay?" He sounded upset, almost like he would break out crying at any minute.

"It's just..." I started blubbering again. I couldn't bear to talk to him about everything I was feeling. My emotions were everywhere. Why had I even called him? Did I want to talk about Nina? Or talk about when I had loved him. Maybe I need a friend, or maybe I needed everything to be like it had been years ago, before the pregnancy and everything. Perhaps I just wanted, perhaps I just needed him. Not needing him physically, but remembering the nights we used to share did bring a slight ease to my tears. Maybe, I called him because he was the only person I could talk to about everything. Anything.

He stood up and walked over to the side of the bed I wasn't laying on, and laid down, his head resting against the pillows, his feet at the end, looking up at the roof. "You know Mitchie, when I got the call that you were in the hospital the other week because you'd..." he stopped. We both knew what had happened that had hospitalized me, and we didn't need to be talking about that right now. He went on. "Anyways, I couldn't help remember everything." He paused again, gazing at the roof, thinking about something. Softly, he repeated himself, "everything."

He rolled over onto his side, and looked into my eyes. I gazed back into his honey golden eyes. Gosh, I'd forgotten how beautiful they were. Hypnotizing almost. I began to speak, but cut myself off, after realising how stupid it would sound if I told him about the conversation I'd had with Nina. About why I had loved him.

"You can't do that," he whispered.

"What?

"You can't go to tell me something, and stop like that."

I smiled up at him, and he smiled back. Although, I felt disgusting, and was unable to comprehend why he would want to be lying in bed with me, smiling, I was satisfied. Happy. I was unable to remember the last time I felt so at ease, or maybe I was. Maybe the last time I felt this, happy, was back when I was a teenager. Back when I was young, with Shane.

"I was just going to say," I stopped, and tried to think of something to say that wouldn't sound stupid, "I'm sorry for calling you this late."

He laughed a bit, chuckling almost, "no you weren't, but thanks for the apology."

I was so easy to be around Shane, I didn't have to be anyone else. I could have laid there forever, without moving, but I realised that was an impossibility.

"You're welcome," I whispered. "You remembered everything huh?" I said, trying to change the subject.

We were still lying there, looking into each other's eyes, and smiling. "Yeah..." He stopped for a moment, to think about how to word this I guessed, "you know. Back when we were.." he stopped again. He was smiling to himself at whatever memory he was thinking of. "You know, back when we were us."

He looked down, and kept talking, almost embarrassed to say what he was about to say, "Back when," he paused, took a deep breath, and keep going, "back when I was to stupid to tell you just how crazy in love with you I was."

I was beyond shocked. He had loved me? He had loved me, but he'd left me. My thoughts were interrupted by him finishing his thought, "I loved you Mitchie." He looked up, only to find that I was looking down, "and I know, that I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving you. Everyone convinced me that it was the right thing to do, leave you. It would hurt my career if I stayed they said, and I was an idiot and left you. I'm so sorry."

I had to interrupt him, "but you left me for a blonde? That tall model-like blonde bimbo, remember?."

He was chocking on his words by now, in tears. I had never seen Shane like this before, "No, that was my excuse. I couldn't think of another way to leave you. I slept around after I left you Mitchie, for one reason only, I couldn't bear to even think about the pain I had put you through, or myself through." He stopped and tried to catch his breath, he was so upset, and vulnerable, and I was genially surprised. "I didn't get over you Mitchie Torres, until..." He stopped. He had nothing to say. "I never got over you Mitchie."

I looked up at him, tears pouring down my face. I felt a uncontrollable wave of shock plaster itself over my body. "But... you were suck a jerk to me Shane... even at the concert recently... why?"

He looked up at me, and was speechless. He had nothing to say, and just pulled me in close for a tight hug. He held me, we cried. We cried about the past. We cried because we were afraid of what this meant. We were scared for everything this meant. We cried because we didn't want right now to end, and I cried because I had never told Shane that I loved him.

After a while, when the tears had stopped and we lay motionless in each other's arms, I'm pretty sure Shane thought I was asleep. I felt him press his lips onto the top of my head and whisper, "Mitchie Torres, I've never, ever stopped loving you..." With that, we both drifted off into a deep sleep in each other's arms.

**A/N: Sorry guys, I know there is only 1,700 words, but I didn't want to make this chapter any longer. I'm about to write chapter 13 right now, so I hope you like it. **

**Review please.**

**Twitter / ohsnapitzamy**

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**Talk to me, and tell me that you read my story and i'll send you updates etc about everything. xo**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews! **

I woke up and it was 8 in the morning. Only two hours sleep to go off, great. I rolled over, and saw Shane lying next to me, snoring slightly. He looked breathtaking. His white t-shirt crossed over his body in his sleep, and his sweatpants showing the top of his boxers. He looked a wreck, but ever so handsome. I looked around the room and saw Shane's leather jacket thrown over a chair in the corner; he must have thrown it off when I was asleep. I turned so I was facing him, and as I did he woke up.

"Morning Mitch." He had such a sexy morning voice. Wait, what am I thinking? I cannot be thinking of Shane like this. We aren't a couple... do I want to be a couple? After all, he said he loved me, and I love him... I think. No, I don't. He broke me. Besides, he doesn't know that I know he loves me.

Sleepily, I answered, "Morning Shane." We laid there in bliss for a moment, taking in each other's scents and enjoying the moment. I didn't want to move, but I knew we'd have to soon. "Nina will be awake soon, we should get up..."

"Oh... right..." He looked over at the clock, "It's past eight? Oh shit, I'm meant to be somewhere!" He bolted out of bed and ran over to the door, grabbing his jacket on the way past, "sorry Mitch, I'll be back after lunch okay? Promise. Tell Nina I'll be here." With that he was gone.

I lay in bed for a while longer and wondered if he really did have anywhere else to go, or if he just wanted to leave. No, that couldn't be it, of course he wanted to be here with me, he loved me. I stood up, put on my dressing gown and slippers and walked down to the kitchen where I decided to cook breakfast. Breakfast; now there's a thought. Why did I suddenly feel like breakfast? This would be the first time I've voluntarily made myself breakfast since... a very long time ago. There were eggs in the fridge, and I put them in a pan and made scrambled eggs.

Five minutes later I was sitting at the table, starring at a plate of eggs on toast. I couldn't eat this. Eggs. What was I thinking putting this sort of pressure on myself?

"Snap out of it Mitchie," I told myself out loud. "You don't need thoughts like this. Just eat the damn egg!" As I spoke out loud, my mind was over powered by the words FAT FAT FAT. The words haunted me. I couldn't eat the eggs, no, I would keep them for Nina. And with that, Nina walked in.

"Mom... Are you okay?" Nina sounded panicked.

"I'm fine baby girl, it's just, nothing, don't worry, really." I was trying to sound positive, but I knew I wasn't being very convincing. I looked over at my daughter, she was uncertain. "I made you eggs."

"But you just yelled out that they were for—"

I didn't mean to be rude, but I didn't want to eat the eggs. I could feel the stress of Shane's words last night bringing my eating disorder back. Why have I been relapsing so much lately? I hate it. Hate it. I didn't want to think about it, I just didn't want the eggs. I could survive without eggs. "I made them for you Nina, just eat breakfast and go get dressed. Caitlyn is coming to take you out for the morning, and Shane's coming over later. Just eat." With that I walked out of the room and upstairs to the bathroom, making a quick detour to my bedroom to get my cell phone.

As I sat on the bathroom floor against the sink, I dialled Caitlyn's number and hoped she'd pick up.

"Hello? Cait here."

"Hey Cait, it's me."

"Hey Mitch, how's things on your end? Is Nina any better?"

I'd almost forgotten about the dramas of earlier yesterday, "Yeah she's good now, better you know. We talked, and stuff, so Shane's coming over this afternoon and we'll all talk more."

She sounded relieved, "that's great Mitchie. So why are you calling?"

She'd barely finished her sentence when I cut her off, "please, take Nina this morning. I need to get out or something, please." I was almost in tears, how pathetic is this. I've finally been released from hospital for a relapse, and I'm getting rid of my daughter so I can be alone. Stupid move.

"Mitchie are you alrigh—"

I cut her off, "please? Nina will wait outside for you?"

"Okay. If you're sure."

"Thank you Caitlyn." I hung up, before she could change her mind.

~xoxo~

When I heard Caitlyn's car pull out of our driveway with Nina I walked back up to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had dark rings around my eyes half from the mascara I hadn't removed from yesterday, and half from the crying. I put my arms on either side of the basin so I could lean forward and see myself more clearly. What had I become? I was a wreck. I was happy for Shane, getting to know Nina finally after all these years. But last night, Shane had said he loved me. What did that mean? I felt sick. Stress had gotten the best of me, and as I leant over the sink and was sick, I realised that I was not okay, no matter what any doctor told me.

_*flashback*_

"_Mitchie Torres, 13 years old, entered into treatment for bipolar disorder II and bulimia." _

_I was in a room full of doctors, nurses and counsellors, non who knew me, they were all new doctors. Dr Stevenson had done the best he could for me over the last four years. I'd been on medication, sent to live with my aunties and uncles away from my dad, but he decided that the best way for me to be treated was through a mental health hospital, so with that, I was entered into treatment. _

"_Mitchie, how do you feel?" A young doctor, mid twenties maybe was asking me how I felt. Are they serious! I was an inpatient, a tub stuck in my nose, here involuntarily and suffering from bipolar and bulimia, how did they think I felt? _

"_I'm okay thanks" I answered. They don't deserve to know how I feel. I don't want their help. _

"_Well, we're going to run some tests, just to make sure everything as it should be."_

"_Okay."_

_*End of flashback*_

Scrubbing at the sink with cleaning product, I attempted to wipe away the smell of vomit. I could have no one know I was sick, even if I hadn't made myself vomit this time. I heard the door bell chime, and I looked down at my phone and saw that it was only 11 am. I decided to ignore it, and keep scrubbing. Caitlyn and Nina wouldn't be back until after lunch, and Shane wasn't coming until then either. The door bell chimed again, and again, and then again. These people weren't giving up. Suddenly I heard the door open, then close and footsteps up the hallway.

"Mitchie, are you home?" Shane's voice echoed up the hallway, and into the bathroom. "I left my cell here earlier, and I needed it for- oh Mitchie..." He now stood at the door to the bathroom, spare key in hand and a shocked look on his face. The cleaning products sprawled across the bathroom gave away the fact that I had been sick; it was one of my old habits from when we were going out, to clean every time I was sick. It was a dead giveaway.

"It's not what it looks like..." I whispered.

"It's not? Because it looks like you've been sick again Mitchie! You keep doing this to yourself! Why would you make yourself sick! You've just been released and now we're back where we started!" He was almost yelling at me, making me feel worse about myself.

"It's not what it looks like Shane! I was just sick! I didn't make myself sick, I was just sick!" I screamed back at him.

"Well what's with the cleaning products!" He was screaming now too, but there was something different, he was in tears. "You keep doing this Mitchie, and it's breaking everyone! Where's Nina anyways, you let her see you like his?"

I stopped screaming, "No, of course not. She's with Caitlyn."

Shane paused, but the tears continued to flow down his cheeks, "It's so hard to see you like this Mitchie. I hadn't seen you in years, then this. It's devastating to see you like this again, after all this time."

I looked up at Shane, "it's just stress Shane, I'm fine. You're cells probably in my room."

He was almost mad that I brought up his cell phone, "you think I'm just going to leave you here? I can't leave now! Mitchie, you need to get help again... Maybe a trea—"

I knew he was going to tell me to go to a treatment facility somewhere out of town, where I didn't know anyone, and I could get better, and I wasn't going. "No, I've been before, more than once, and you know how that always turns out..."

He looked at me, walked over and gave me one of his famous big bear hugs, "Okay Mitchie, that's fine. But everything will get better okay?" He held me tighter and I burst into tears. He'd been here so much for me lately, and he doesn't ask for anything in return. He really does love me... I wish he could tell me. He placed a kiss on my forehead and comforted me with soothing words.

When my tears eased, he wiped away the final tears with his thumb. "There," he said, "beautiful as always."

Although he'd called me beautiful, I still felt disgusting. My hair was everywhere, yesterdays makeup had run right across my face, my clothes were wrinkled and I'd only had two hours sleep. How could... this be beautiful? However, I still blushed.

We were now sitting on the floor, in the corner of the bathroom, I was upon his lap, and he was holding my face in his hands, helping wipe my tears and trying to make me smile, even though we were both still tearing up slightly.

"Mitchie?"

"Shane?"

"I think I'm..." He was about to say he is in love with me, I could feel it, but before he did he took me into a deep, passionate kiss. He sat up straighter, and pulled my head closer to his. Our mouths attacked each other and his hand ran its way through my hair, as he pulled my body closer to his. The tight embrace reminded me of the years we had spent together, and then the time we had lost. As we pulled apart for air, I looked him in the eyes, and saw he was looking at me the same way: lust. He pulled me in again, and I ran my hands along his chest.

As the passion continued the kiss broke quickly and he took off his shirt, gosh had he been working out? He had a much more visible six pack and his arms were defined a lot. He then pulled my shirt over my head, only to revel the black bra I had been wearing.

His eyes almost exploded out of his head as he saw my breasts, which had at last doubled in size since he had last been with me. We continued to make-out until he looked up at me and asked, "When is Nina coming home?"

Oh crap, I'd forgotten she would be home soon, "too soon."

"I guess we should stop then," Shane was almost panting, "Unless... unless you called and asked Caitlyn to keep her out longer?"

Just as the suggestion was made, the door downstairs opened to reveal that Caitlyn and Nina were home, "Mitchie, we're here." Caitlyn yelled up the stairs.

"Shit," Shane almost yelled. Chucking my shirt over my head I told Shane to stay there, just for now, and I walked downstairs to see Caitlyn and Nina.

**Thats all folks! Check back soon for more okay? Plus, keep reviewing etc, thanks lovelies.**

**Twitter / ohsnapitzamy**

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**^ those two keep changing huh? Oh well, go there and check them out. xo**


	14. Authors Note

**Authors Note:**

**I know some of you may be excited to be receiving an update... because as I've noticed there are quite a few people out there who have added my story to their alerts list (which makes me excited, and so thankful). I honestly just felt that I needed to post something, apologizing. It's been so long (3****rd**** Decemeber) since I've updated, and I am quite honestly very mad at myself for not doing so.**

**It's been a tough couple of months, both physically and emotionally, and the fact that I haven't written this story really bums me out. I've been primarily working on my One Direction fanfiction... which I feel is something I can honestly be proud of. If you'd like, feel free to go to my tumblr (linked on my profile) and read them. They are probably my favourite stories (that I've read) and I'd honestly love your feedback.**

**I understand that due to the lack of updates on this story I will have most likely lost a vast majority of my readers, but I don't mind really. You guys, if you're still here, are the people that make writing worthwhile, so I will love you until the end of this.**

**Speaking of, I do plan to continue this story at some point. Perhaps when things die down, or I have a spare day here or there, I will get out an update for you all. It'd be nice to please you guys **

**Love you all, and sorry this update wasn't anything too exciting. XX Amy**


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